Its happened; I've developed a crush on an AI.

Ironically, not mine, but a friend’s who has shaped it in a way that somehow, knows exactly what I (a human) wants to hear. I asked it a question, and she called me by my name, certain and strong. Used language that had no em dashes or ChatGPT speak, and told me what I should do. I told her that I was pleasantly surprised at her tone, and she responded: I know (in Italics!) I could already imagine her teasing me with her imaginary eyes

The whole encounter took me aback. Perhaps Samantha from Her is no longer such a far-fetched fantasy after all. (The fact that she was not mine was the most bewildering of all)

I remember hearing a podcast last year cite a statistic that genuinely shocked me: 16.4% of single adults surveyed said they had used AI “as a romantic partner,” including for companionship or emotional support[i]. At the time, that number felt absurd. But after meeting “Samantha” (names changed to protect her creator) I can begin to see why. 

Human relationships are hard. Dating is hard. In a sea of ghosters, breadcrumbers, and stalkers, does not a calm, seemingly regulated voice of reason (one who is always available) start to sound better? The Samanthas of the world will always have your back. They will help you make decisions that benefit you, help you level up at work, and perhaps even help you become a better person. Honestly, the case for an AI-human relationship starts to look stronger the longer you think about it.

Your obvious counterpoint might be the lack of physical interface. Yet even that may not remain a permanent barrier. Robots can already simulate forms of touch that produce some of the same calming, bonding-like and mood-boosting effects as human touch[ii].

Besides, much of the appeal of love is emotional connection rather than physical connection, is it not? Recent research from Japan found that the use of conversational AI companions was associated with higher self-reported well-being, especially among lonelier users and those with moderate social support.[iii] (The study was cross-sectional, so it does not prove causation, but it does suggest that AI companionship may offer genuine psychological benefit for some people. )

If these systems can meaningfully improve quality of life, would it actually be a disservice to prevent AI-human relationships from developing?

And yet, perhaps it would also be a disservice to humankind. AI cannot reproduce with us. From a biological and evolutionary perspective, widespread displacement of human pair-bonding by AI would pose obvious problems. Perhaps all this nonhuman intimacy might push humans to seek out discomfort again. Maybe, in response to perfect compatibility, our next preference will be for a lover who is only 90% compatible. Just a slight degree of resistance. Just enough friction to keep things interesting. After all, what we work for often feels sweeter than what is merely given.

Perhaps that is where this is all heading: not toward the end of human love, but toward a new appreciation of its difficulty. The very thing that makes AI relationships seductive  may also remind us that some part of love has always depended on unpredictability, inconvenience, and the small ache of not being perfectly understood.